I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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