My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
