Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
