is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
