Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My vagina is officially offended.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize