didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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