You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
