I'm eating all of the evidence.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
