I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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