he thought i was a dude.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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