I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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