Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When are your genitals available?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
