If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
