Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
