I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
why is half of my head shaved?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
