Whod you bang
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
