Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I had to cum in my sink.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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