told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
