Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
