$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Please don't give away my fajitas
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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