What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
