Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
