Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
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How's your threesome situation going?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Never let your siblings swipe right.