Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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  (636): I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes http://tfl.nu/5pzj
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"

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  (908): My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger" http://tfl.nu/twr9
  Replies (17) Good night (3377) Bad night (793)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore

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  (617): i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore http://tfl.nu/4xlx
  Replies (21) Good night (1288) Bad night (4417) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.

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  (818): Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs. http://tfl.nu/c051
  Replies (100) Good night (3022) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.

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  (615): I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked. http://tfl.nu/9nla
  Replies (31) Good night (1005) Bad night (4466) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail

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  (845): For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail http://tfl.nu/lqnd
  Replies (6) Good night (4134) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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  (810): I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again http://tfl.nu/a301
  Replies (7) Good night (3469) Bad night (1282) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

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  (408): Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this http://tfl.nu/4kx4
  Replies (16) Good night (4977) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about

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  (253): Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about http://tfl.nu/o03a
  Replies (9) Good night (6576) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.

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  (734): He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon. http://tfl.nu/88sk
  Replies (12) Good night (1483) Bad night (3550) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand

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  (410): Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand http://tfl.nu/h8jq
  Replies (3) Good night (1399) Bad night (286)
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  (415): View more from California

  theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?

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  (415): theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours? http://tfl.nu/bjo4
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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  (719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2
  Replies (8) Good night (1553) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.

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  (864): her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality. http://tfl.nu/j8og
  Replies (11) Good night (1523) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...

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  (615): Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers... http://tfl.nu/ugq8
  Replies (5) Good night (581) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt

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