Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
