We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica