Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Success! We fucked roommates!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
