she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
