Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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