im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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