hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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