I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
