I accidentally had phone sex last night
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
