Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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