I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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