I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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