I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So squirting runs in the family.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
