I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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