nut hugger
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
