You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I love you.
Bad choice
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