he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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