i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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