i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
