Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
