I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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