I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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