I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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