hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
