thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
