neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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