I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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