How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
