remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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