I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
