what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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