Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
