I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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