glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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