seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
