when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
