So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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