i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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