every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
