Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
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i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She even gives head with a lisp.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize