just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
