There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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